Decoding the Body Language of Flirting: 23 Things You Need to Know

By owner | Articles

Jan 13

While it might seem that men initiate more than 50 percent of the amorous encounters, in reality, women do it 90 percent of the time using the body language of flirting. This language is intuitive, as well as intentional. Some women use it subconsciously, while others make careful and calculated moves.

Men have a hard time picking up on the body language signs, even though they themselves use them often. Decoding male and female body language flirting is not an easy task. If you don’t want to be turned down, you need to learn a few tricks to help you establish a perfect connection with the opposite sex.

1. The Power of Eye Contact

eye contactBoth men and women use eye contact for flirting, but they do it differently. When a woman wants to grab a guy’s attention, she will try to meet his gaze for a few seconds, and then stop paying attention to him for a while. This gaze will be accompanied by a small smile. She is ready to do it repeatedly until a man gets the idea.

Guys also use eyes for flirting. But they are more straightforward. They will stare at the object of their attention for a long time, awaiting the result. Some men start checking the girl out by taking in her whole figure from hair to the toes. If a girl keeps looking back at the guy who is using “the stare,” then she is interested. If she makes it a point to turn away, it’s a miss.

2. The Confusing Lip Biting

Men tend to think that if a woman is biting her lip, she is flirting. In fact, there are many other reasons girls inadvertently bite their lips, and they have nothing to do with attracting men. It can either be a bad habit, a sign of nervousness and anxiety, or anger and frustration. That’s why it is important to observe other body language signs to understand the nature of lip biting.

If besides biting her lip, a woman is using other body language tricks to attract a male, then she is most likely doing it as part of the show. Considering lip biting to be a sole sign of interest is a mistake many men often make. Approaching a woman who bites her lips without showing any other flirting signs is 90 percent useless.

3. The Revealing Pupils

pupilsYou must have heard that the “eyes are the window to the soul.” Dilated pupils are a sign that a person is excited and attracted to someone. This is almost a fail-safe way to identify if a man or a woman is flirting. The thing is, you need to look close to make use of this trick. If you are flirting at a distance, you’ll unlikely be able to see how the pupils change.

Romantic dates are often arranged in place with dim lighting for exactly this reason. The absence of bright light makes pupil dilated, but pupil dilation doesn’t always mean sexual attraction.

The excitement that causes the pupils to dilate can come from a different source. So, if you are talking about something extremely interesting and see a person’s pupils dilate, don’t make any rash decisions. Perhaps he or she is just interested in the subject.

4. Batting Eyelashes – A Sure Thing

Reading body language flirting is not an easy task, but some things women do are a solid sign they are interested. One of them is batting their eyelashes. This eye action is not something women do subconsciously. It comes from the movies and romantic novels that girls gulp down when they are young.

eyelashesEye batting gesture is considered to be a direct sign of interest. If a man is not responding to the subtle body language she is using, a woman might opt for this obvious action as a last resort. Batting eyelashes brings attention to the eyes and the face, so a girl can proceed with other flirty body language signs.

5. A Firm Posture and a Solid Stance

Male body language flirting is not as varied as the female variant is because men are mostly doing the things their subconscious tells them to do. That’s where instincts kick in. A man needs to show that he is better, stronger and taller than his competition.

That’s why when a guy is interested, he will automatically square his shoulders and place his legs far apart to appear larger and make himself more noticeable, while holding his head high.

If you see this change in the guy’s stance, then you can be sure that he is trying to make an impression. He will do the same trick when he is sitting down. A guy might even put his one foot toward the object of his attention to subconsciously show his intentions.

For the stance to work right, a guy needs strong stamina, as well as a strong sex drive. Otherwise, this type of flirting won’t have the desired effect. A woman can tell you are interested in her when you take this stance.

your doctorIf you are one of those men who could use a little help in the sex department, consider trying one of today’s top male enhancement products. You don’t need a prescription when you use a natural product for men like ProSolution or Male Extra; however, you may still want to get the go-ahead from your doctor first, just as you would with any new supplement or remedy.

6. Slightly Flared Nostrils Could Do the Trick

This is a subtle flirting sign both men and women use. A woman will slightly flare her nostrils to get a whiff of the man’s cologne and take in his smell in general. Smells are usually more important for women that they are for men. That’s why a woman will be doing some sniffing in less than obvious manner.

A man’s nostrils flare for a different reason. He is subconsciously trying to get more air and oxygenate his blood for a possible battle. This is the way ancient male instincts work. When a man sees a female he is attracted to, he must always be ready to fight for her with another male.

7. Deep Body Language of Flirting: Caressing

her lipsThere are several levels if flirting. There is flirting for fun that doesn’t lead to anything serious, and flirting with the hope for a relationship, spark or even sexual relations. When a woman is going for the latter, she’ll take out the heavy artillery and try not to just get a man interested, but to get him sexually excited.

To amplify the attraction, a woman can start caressing her lips, neck or collarbone. This gesture is inviting in nature and usually doesn’t escape the eyes of the opposite sex. She can also run her fingers through her hair or gently stroke an object in her hands, such as a glass or a pen. These gestures are designed to make a male think of sex.

8. The Science of Leaning In

Leaning in might seem like an obvious action when you want to hear what someone is saying in a loud place. If the noise level is not outrageous, then leaning in means something else. Both men and women use the leaning in movement to show their interest. If you find her or him in your personal space, then there is no doubt about it, you’ve got them where you want them.

This science is well-mastered by women since they know that the closeness of their bodies can arouse a man. However, men rarely will use this trick intentionally. They don’t have a tendency to direct their bodies to other people unless they are truly interested.

9. The Last Resort: Touching

When non-verbal communication flirting at a distance is over and done with, here comes the touching. A woman will try to flirt without touching and leave this action to a male; however, if a woman resorts to touching your hand, knee or shoulder, you know she is into you. There is no such thing as accidental touching on a woman’s part when it comes to flirting.

touchingA man can start doing the touching thing much earlier than a woman. Since men are not the flirting masters, they get to the physical part as soon as they see fit and sometimes it might be too soon. Some guys use a subtler approach and try to find moments where their touching might seem accidental.

10. Being a Copycat Works

People are usually attracted to those who share their interest and act in a similar way. When people see that they have something in common, they start feeling comfortable with each other. That’s why when one person is interested in another, he or she can mirror the other person’s movements, their manner of speaking, and even the voice to create the same effect.

This doesn’t mean that in order to get the person interested you must mimic them.The goal is to imitate the person’s movements subtly. The pace must be different or it might look like a mockery. Some people do this trick subconsciously while others use it as a subtle way to win the person’s attention.

11. Standing Out of the Crowd – The Attention Catcher

laughingWhile body language flirting that men use is not too diverse, they have many other ways to make up for this drawback. If they are interested in a woman, they make it their goal to stand out of the crowd. One of the simple body language tricks they use is smiling. Looking in the woman’s eyes and smiling is an attention catcher most men use and it works.

A man will act sure of himself and try to catch a woman’s attention with words rather than actions. Meanwhile, women can also use this approach. They will try to stand out of the crowd by using such tricks as laughing and subtle touching.

12. Alpha Male Behavior

When a man is attracted to a woman, he starts practicing alpha male behavior. Besides striking a pose, squaring his shoulder, and putting his legs apart, he starts upstaging other males around him. It might seem inappropriate to onlookers, but the man doesn’t notice this fact since he is playing his own courting game.

Interestingly enough, if a woman is attracted to this man, she will take this behavior for granted and find it appealing. Guys also try to act extremely sure of himself. By brandishing confidence, men are trying to show their alpha maleness to the women of their choice. Meanwhile, a woman will do just the opposite: act weak and vulnerable.

13. That Special Voice

talkingWhen it comes to flirting, the body language of men is usually not too revealing. They try to show their attraction with actions and words. Both men and women change their voices when talking to the object of their desire. Without even knowing it, the guys start talking in a low-pitched voice to appear sexier and more attractive.

When speaking with the man of her dreams, a woman will often use a husky voice which men consider alluring. Some women do it unintentionally, while others use this trick consciously to make a man think of sexual relations since many men and women associate a husky and throaty voice with sex.

14. The Art of Preening

Preening is an act of getting yourself tidy in front of your partner. This act is popular in the animal kingdom. The birds clean their feathers, the chimps catch fleas, and the humans tidy up their clothes and hair. When attracted to someone, both men and women tend to smooth their shirts and skirts or rearrange their hair

By doing this you can achieve two goals. Show that you are trying hard to impress your partner and also touch yourself in a way to make him or her think of touching you just like it. Sometimes preening can also be a sign of nervousness. Preening as flirting comes together with other body language signs, so you’ll doubtfully mistake it for anxiety.

15. It’s All in Your Head

headRecent studies showed that the way women angle their heads shows their attraction. For example, women tend to lean their heads a little forward to make an impression of looking upwards. While men tilt their head slightly backward to make an impression as if they are looking down their noses.

This subconscious action comes from the height difference between men and women. Women feel more attractive to tall and masculine males who look at them from above. Meanwhile, males appreciate when they can show their dominance to a woman who is smaller than they are.

When women look upwards at a man’s face they consider it more masculine. When men look down at a woman, they notice more feminine features.

16. Facing the Body

When men and women are interested in someone, they instinctively turn their bodies toward them. People tend to position their bodies in the direction they wish to go. This is especially true for guys but works for women, as well. If you see that the object of your attraction is half facing the door while talking to you, then he or she doesn’t reciprocate.

Pay close attention to the feet. Even if the body is turned slightly away but the feet are facing in your direction, then the person is truly interesting and wants to “walk toward you.”

17. Flaunting Your Innate Sense of Humor

If a guy is trying to make you laugh, then you can be sure he is into you. If a girl is laughing at the silliest jokes you make, then she is attracted. Laughter is a powerful force, and both men and women get physical, mental and emotionally benefits from it.

make men laughIn most cases, though, this doesn’t work the other way around. Women usually don’t try to make men laugh, and even if they manage to do it, they probably won’t attract the opposite sex using their sense of humor as the only weapon. Humor is not a quality a woman needs to flaunt at the initial stages of a relationship to attract a man. It just won’t do the trick.

18. Being the Best

When it comes to the body language of attraction, both sexes are trying to show off the best they’ve got. Women involuntary try to emphasize her sexual traits and act sweet, while guys start behaving more manly than usual.

Aside from being the perfect gentlemen, if a guy is acting protective of you, then he already considers you his woman and thinks you need to be protected from the outside world, as well as from the other males. At the same time, if a girl is using a lot of exaggerated expressions, such as “awwww”, “amazing”, “sooo sweet”, she is trying to show you that she is awed by you and into you.

19. The Wrist Signal

wristWhen a woman is flirting with a man, she inadvertently shows off her wrists. Necks and wrists are vulnerable spots that people tend to protect. For example, when walking, men and women keep the wrists close to their bodies. When a woman flirts, she starts showing off her vulnerable spots.

Women’s wrists are a highly erotic area, since they have many more nerve endings than men’s wrists do. The nerve receptors make the wrist sensitive and that’s where putting the perfume on the wrist came from. The wrist signals differ. Some women touch the wrists in an inviting manner, while other put them on a table in front of a man.

20. Status Signals

One of the easiest flirting signs that both men and women use is pointing out their single status. Both sexes tend to show off their hands without a ring to prove that they are officially free to look for a partner. While women might limit themselves to brandishing the ring-free finger, guys will go further to explain the status in words.

21. Teasing and Squeezing

Some women are teasers. They will show their interest in men by using long cylindrical objects to suggest that you have something to hope for. She will be using two fingers to rub up and down or squeeze an object the shape of which will remind a man of his own body part. Sliding the ring up and down a finger is a good example of teasing.

Other such objects of teasing and squeezing are a cigarette, a long earring, a glass, or a straw. The same squeezing or licking trick can be done with lips while smoking a cigarette, eating ice-cream, or sipping a drink from a straw.

22. Follow Her Purse

her purseA woman can use her purse, handbag or pocketbook as a sign that she is interested in a man. A purse for a woman is something intimate. That’s why if she entrusts it to a man, it means she is ready to trust him her heart. A purse is not just an accessory, it’s an extension of the woman herself.

When a girl feels attracted to a guy, she will move her purse close to him instead of hiding it or keeping it close. If a woman asked you to hold her purse or find something inside, then there is no doubt about it: she is attracted.

23. Top-Notch Crotch

While women have plenty of weapons to use for flirting, such as wrists, lips, hair, breasts and even purses, guys only have a few, and the most important one is their crotch. When courting a woman, a man will subconsciously try to show off whatever is between his legs.

This means he’ll unconsciously start spreading his legs apart when standing, seating or taking a stance that will outline the crotch area. Also, some guys will touch their belt or smooth his pants. He will do everything to direct a woman’s attention “down there,” whether it is by choice or not.

When you don’t know anything about it, the body language of flirting may seem complicated, but when you are armed with information, decoding it can be easy. After reading through the above pointers, you can take full advantage of the flirting game and perhaps even forget about being rejected by the opposite sex.

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