We may not want to ask why exactly you would like to stop your erection in its tracks, but hey, to each his own, right? Whether you are hot for teacher or spontaneously busting out of your pants in an inappropriate place, we have some advice for you if you are looking to rid of that problem in your pants.
Some may be more obvious than others, but if you find yourself desperate to relax your pants of that bulge than follow some of our ways to stop your erection in its tracks:
1. Put That Thing Away
If you find yourself in a situation where you have an unwanted erection while you are not in the privacy of your own home, or, you know, anywhere else it is that you can safely have a boner, then you must find an immediate way to cover yourself up.
In our next section you will learn about different positions you can move into to help eliminate the sight of your bulge, but let’s discuss some objects that might help out your cause.
Maybe you have a newspaper, laptop or book that could work to cover up your unwanted erection. Be resourceful. What about your backpack, coat, or briefcase. There are many objects that you can use to conceal your boner – you just have to think creatively.
It is also important that you not draw attention to yourself. You are, after all, trying to divert attention away from your pants. So, do yourself a favor and don’t sit awkwardly or blatantly hold your briefcase over your genitals. Play it casual and remember that more than likely no one has noticed your unwanted erection.
2. Relax, Have a Seat
First and foremost, sitting down will make your erection almost impossible to see. Unless you are wearing those skinny jeans that appear to be oh-so popular, the fabric of your pants should bunch up around the erection.
To any onlooker – maybe you should be asking why someone is looking at that region, eh? – it will simply look like the natural fold of your pants.
If this simply isn’t doing the trick, then try crossing your legs or putting them together. This should make your erection difficult to notice. Not only will sitting down and crossing your legs make the erection practically invisible to the untrained eye, it will buy you time to help allow the erection to subside.
Sitting down provides you with an array of options that can help hide your erection as well. Depending on the setting, you may find a napkin, table, or desk close by that can help hide your little unwanted friend. Well, maybe not unwanted but either way you probably have a reason for not wanting an erection at that given moment, right?
3. The Great Shift
If sitting down is not an option, then there is another way that you can reposition yourself, so that your erection will not be very noticeable.
Think about it, the anatomy of your erection sticks up relatively perpendicular to your body; therefore making the tip of your erection very apparent to onlookers.
If you were to, say, make the erection lie flat then this would help your desire to make the erection magically disappear.
How can you make this happen, you ask? Try to tuck the erection under the waistline of your pants. Warning: be very discrete. Failure to do so could result in indecent exposure, and then you are in more trouble than simple embarrassment.
If you can position your penis, so that it is lying flat against your body with the tip pointing up, then your erection will be virtually invisible to anyone nearby.
4. Adjust or Bust
If you have followed our previous advice and find that you are relatively uncomfortable, then it is in your best interest to fix yourself.
Even if your erection is subsiding quite a bit, you may feel some discomfort by having your genitals tucked under your pants.
Being uncomfortable at all is only going to lead you to think about why exactly you are in this position, and then you will be thinking about your erection.
Thinking about your erection will only bring you to those sexual thoughts, and you will soon learn why this is not good for your erection in a later section. It is very important that you go about this adjustment very discreetly. Let’s just say that if the public finds you with your hands in your pants, then your boner will be the least of your problems. Catch our drift?
5. Now Just Simply Relax
Easier said than done, but we can ensure you that pausing to take a deep breath will help your erection go away. One fact that you must realize is that no one is staring at your genitals.
And, if they are then maybe you want them to notice you have an erection, right? Well, assuming that you don’t have a curvaceous blonde glaring at your boner, try to relax and acknowledge the fact that no one has noticed your erection.
As messed up as it sounds, the more you think about your erection the more you will begin to focus on the feeling it is giving you; and while it is an unwanted erection, the feeling it causes is more than likely satisfactory.
The more you focus on the pleasurable feeling, the stronger your erection will become. So, if you are looking to stop your erection in its tracks, then it is relevant that you not think about it. Relax and try to focus your attention on something else.
6. Give Yourself Shiny Thing Syndrome
You know you have that one person in your life that is easily distractible. Well, if you’re looking to rid yourself of an unwanted erection, then it is in your best interest that you inherit some of their qualities.
We have already explained in the aforementioned section why you need to stop yourself from thinking about the erection, but just to give you the Cliff’s Notes version, thinking about your erection means you will think about sex, which in turn means your erection will grow.
Therefore, it is imperative that you start thinking about your grandmother, those damn Yankees, or something along the lines of anything that is not sex. In fact, think of something that is so not sexy, that you cannot help but lose your erection. You know, visualize one of your miserable moments, pictures unfortunate or miserable puppies. If that doesn’t do it, then you may just be too far gone for help.
If you are fortunate enough to be in a situation where you can partake in an activity to take your mind off the erection, then you should definitely pursue that option. Pick up a good book, turn on the TV, or get up and go for a walk. Anything to take your mind off the erection will help; however, if you find that you are in a social situation that limits your ability to just get up and go for a jog, then try and visualize yourself doing something else. And when all else fails, just remember the sad puppy dogs.
7. No Sexual Thoughts
It’s important to note that while we told you to divert your attention away from your erection in the previous section, you also need to divert your attention away from anything sexually related.
So, if going for that jog was the activity you found to take your mind off the large bulge in your pants then so be it, but the second you come across that sexy jogger tying her shoes you run in the other direction, or else.
Thinking any sexual thoughts will only pop that penis back up and then you are right back to square one.
8. Feel the Burn
As sadistic as it sounds, if you cause yourself pain to another region of your body, then you will focus less on your erection, because in case you missed it, the last thing you want to do is think about your erection.
Since the nervous system plays a large role in achieving emotion from physical action, your satisfaction from the erection will soon become fixated on the pain inflicted to yourself.
Now, we are not talking about anything too extreme here; perhaps you could pinch your thigh or something mild. If you have seen Steve Carell’s, The Forty Year Old Virgin, then you know what he did, and well, you may want to avoid that at all costs. But, if flicking your testicles is the only thing you can think of to help reduce your erection, then we are not exactly telling you not to.
9. Use the Little Boys Room
If you find that there is simply no escape from the public eye, then politely excuse yourself.
Remember to hide your erection with one of the objects that we have previously mentioned, remember, a briefcase, jacket, newspaper or book. Nonchalantly make your way to the restroom and hide away in a stall.
You can combine a few of the above-mentioned tips: relax, distract yourself, imagine you are somewhere else, whatever works for you. Take deep breaths and realize that you have as much time as you need. Worst case scenario? Someone may think you are relieving yourself in another way, but who cares? Your erection problems will be solved.
Hopefully these tips have spared you an unwanted erection in the near future, and don’t worry we are happy to help. Here’s just one more piece of advice for you: In case you find that you are suffering from erections at the most inconvenient of moments – you know, you can’t get one when you want one and vice versa, then why not try a male enhancement pill?