Let’s face it: although not tolerated and recommended, sleeping around seems common these days. It may be a mystery as to how the Mila Kunis – Justin Timberlake relationship, also known as friends with benefits, started.
One possible explanation might be because of the high divorce rate, kids these days are not into love and relationships anymore.
After all, you can still get laid without being in a relationship, right? Hence, the term fuck buddy, or FUBU was born.
However, having a friend with benefits is not just as simple as meeting up in a motel and having sex for five hours. It may start with no strings attached and can lead to even more complicated things, such as one falling in love with the other or wanting more than just sex.
As Ne-Yo said, “Don’t fall in love, Girl I’m not the one. No emotions babe, we’re just having fun.” So, before everything else turns into something deeper and you’re not up for it, here are 10 rules you should always remember when it comes to fuck buddy type of relationship.
First of all, your relationship is purely for sex. Second, do not confuse yourself with lust and love. Third, your sex-buddy-turned-wife is not exactly the ideal happily ever after.
Think about this – your relationship started over beer and it so happened that the two of you got horny, so might as well do the deed just to get by. Since you both realized you’re in sync in bed, you decided to continue the relationship, but only inside the bedroom.
Is that the story you want to tell to your kids?
Therefore, stay away from relationship signals, such as cuddling, pillow talk and even accompanying her when she wants to watch a movie. Rather, think of your relationship as an adventure. Fulfill her fantasies and be her sex god. Skip all of those mushy things and save it when you have found the right one.
Always remember this: fuck buddy relationships only lasts between one and six months. Stick to it.
Keeping it too short sends her a signal that you’re so horny and it so happened that she’s the only one available, so you two met up for some afternoon delight.
On the other hand, extending your sexual relationship more than six months is like telling her that you two have a chance to move forward into something more serious.
If you want sex and nothing more, make sure to stick to the timeline.
Would you want to invite your sex buddy when you have dinner with friends? What about lunch with the family on a Sunday?
If you’re thinking of bringing her for some interaction outside the bedroom, then you better go back to number one, because this definitely shouts out those relationship signals.
If you have a friend with benefits, always make sure to keep things between you separate. Hanging out together is almost close to being a couple, since you’re seeing each other outside the bedroom, with your clothes on. That’s not how FUBU relationships work.
Have a life outside your so-called relationship. If you need to bring a date on your sister’s wedding, then ask a long-time friend to accompany you and not that girl you’re only seeing for sexual purposes.
This is one of the cardinal rules in fuck buddy relationship. A successful sexual relationship is not just about attraction and being in sync in bed.
It is supposed to be great all the time, and that requires both tension and passion. Otherwise, what’s the point of doing all this when you can’t even fulfill her needs and fantasies?
Therefore, give her an amazing time in bed. Ask about her fantasies in bed and the things she have not yet done before. Then make sure you can perform.
Aside from this, try out different sex positions. Deviate from the usual missionary or other intimate positions since it invites connection and intimacy. Instead, go for positions with minimal eye and skin-to-skin contact, such as doggy style.
Again, you need to live your life. Remember the “keep things separate” rule? As much as possible, don’t see each other more than twice a week.
If she texts you to asked you if you can come over, even if you’ve seen each other two days in a row already, turn her down. At the same time, minimize public appearances. The only place where you two should be seen together is in the bedroom.
Also, have a life outside your sexual relationship. Date other girls, go out with your friends or spend some time with yourself. Keep in mind that your relationship is based on sex, and sex only. You see each other and have sex and that’s it. Move on with your life after hump time, and so should she
Okay, this is another cardinal rule in fuck buddy relationships. Extra care is needed when you are seeing someone purely for sex. Here’s why.
You don’t know her background. This type of relationship is not the perfect avenue to ask everything about her, including the number of guys she slept with.
Okay fine, you can ask, but you’re not supposed to go into detail. Just assume that it’s many. Also, there is a higher chance of getting sexually transmitted disease, so wearing a condom is really a must.
More importantly, you don’t want to get your sex buddy knocked up, do you? Just think about how complicated it will be not just for you, but also for the kids if you got your fuck buddy pregnant. Therefore, practice safe sex.
Just because you two are taking your clothes off only to get some action, that doesn’t mean you have the right to treat her badly.
At the very least, bring her home to make sure she’s safe. Text her a nice messages to assure her that you had fun that night. Or if she rings you up for a booty call, arrange a taxi for her, so she doesn’t have to worry about going home.
Aside from this, keep things private. There is no need to disclose her name and tell your friends that you had sex with her and how amazing she was in bed. Kissing and telling is a big no-no.
These little things only show that despite the kind of relationship you have, you still care. And yes, a little respect goes a long way, so be nice.
This is where trouble comes knocking at your door. After one or two meetings, keep things clear between the two of you that you are not after a long-term relationship. Most girls have difficulty deciphering whether a guy is into them or is only after that three-letter word.
So, before it even gets more complicated, be honest about her and your intentions. Tell her you are not yet ready to commit and you only want to have fun – for now.
If you just got out of a relationship, tell her about it too, so she knows where she stands. At the same time, tell her how much you enjoyed her company, but going deeper and embracing the boyfriend-girlfriend label is out of your mind.
Make sure to talk to her in a nice way. If she’s willing to accept the terms, then good for you. If you feel that she’s not comfortable with the idea, don’t force yourself into being her fuck buddy.
This is very important. Despite having that fuck buddy talk, there will come a time when the girl may start to develop some feelings for you. This is totally understandable and happens all the time. Therefore, watch out for red flags.
This is when she insists that you come with her when she meets her friends, or she starts to invite you over for dinners with her family. She may also demand cuddling or start opening up about herself, including her hopes and dreams. If this happens, well, get out of it as smoothly as possible.
This doesn’t mean that only women are prone to falling in love with their sex buddies. Even guys can have a slip, so watch out for that, too. And don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Most importantly, never, ever fall for your sex buddy. Again, the relationship started with lust and the reason why the two of you are seeing together is because you want sex – and nothing else.
Don’t think that what happened to Mila and Justin in the movie happens in real life.
Although there are a few who upgrade from being sex buddies to husband and wife, the fact remains that you don’t have a very good and solid foundation to begin with. Stay away from being a couple and always remember why you two are there in the first place.
Of course, every fuck buddies have different sets of rules to follow. The important thing is that before you enter this type of relationship, both of you should be amenable to that. This makes the relationship less complicated.