10 Reasons He May Be Into You But Not Hot for You

Newsflash: contrary to popular belief, men don’t want to have sex all the time. Yes, you read that right. Even if a hot dude with perfectly chiseled arms approached you and asked for your number, it doesn’t necessarily follow that he’s up for a booty call or a one-night stand.

Apparently, men have a hard time saying no to sex and women. After all, society expects them to like sex all the time, right? At the same time, they don’t know how to refuse sex and are very much concerned on how the woman will feel or that they might hurt your feelings. Plus, they don’t want to be labeled as wimps.

Here’s the truth: men can refuse to have sex with you. It’s not because they don’t find you attractive or hot in that red lingerie, rather they experience one or more of these issues.

1.He’s Hepressed

depressionYes, ladies. Even guys experience depression. Just like you, clinical depression is also one of the biggest sex drive killers among men.

In fact, there are many reasons why he may feel depressed. It can be his job, problems at home, relationship issues and even money.

Still, this does not mean your man is weak. It only means he is human and capable of feelings. If you notice he is depressed over something, then do your best to console him and make him feel better. The World Wide Web is full of information that can help people cope with depression, so you can pay a visit too, in case he doesn’t want to go to a doctor.

More importantly, be patient. It will take some time – and a lot of assurance and encouragement – to help me feel better. You would want him to do the same for you, wouldn’t you?

2. He Masturbates Too Much

hot girlYou’re no longer living in 1890, so the concept of masturbation is acceptable these days.

While you know that your man is doing some personal gratification using his hand while you’re busy cooking dinner, did you know that it can be one of the reasons why he doesn’t want to have sex with you?

Think about the scene in Beta House where some dude played with himself for so long that he can’t even get his man up when a hot girl wants some action. That happens in real life. Therefore, the more your man touches himself, the lesser he will be interested to have sex with you.

It’s not because the attraction has gone MIA. Since he spends so much time playing with himself, he starts to look for a higher and more intense level of sexual stimulation, which he can’t get from vaginal penetration. Talk to him about this and tell him that you’re available in case he’s in the mood.

3. He Goes Through Male Menopause

older menOkay, this is applicable on older men. As much as men want to maintain their vitality and youth in the bedroom department, there will come a time when age will take a toll on their bodies.

That’s normal. If menopause is for women, then men experience male menopause too, although this happens gradually.

In case your man is already at this stage, then the best you can do is to understand the situation as much as you want him to understand yours. This is a biological thing and no fountain of youth can reverse the aging process.

And no, that magical blue pill is not the solution.

4. He Has Body Issues

BodyOops, didn’t see that one coming, right? Surprising as it may sound, like women, men have body issues, too.

And by body issues, this means they also feel insecure when they see Ryan Reynolds’ abs in The Proposal or Brad Pitt’s toned thighs in Troy. The difference is that they are not open about it and bottle up their insecurities.

And yes, men feel conscious every time they take off their clothes. They feel that they are not big enough down there for you, their tummy is too big, or their body is not what you hope it to be.

In case they feel that way, assure them that you’re more after his ability to provide you pleasure and giving her the best sex of her life. Having a hot bod is merely a bonus.

5. He Is Addicted To Porn

Pornography can be two things – it can add more spunk in the bedroom or ruin your relationship.

The truth is porn is not all bad. The problem lies when a man’s world revolves around it so much, that it starts to take over the relationship.

A man relies too much on porn for sexual stimulation instead of turning to you when there is an urge. At the same time, men develop unrealistic expectations from their partners, no thanks to porn.

If this happens, try to turn things around. Talk about it and use porn to help you both get in the mood. Slowly, encourage him that you are right there waiting for him when the duty calls for it.

6. He Experiences Low Testosterone Levels

fatigueDid you know that an estimated 13.9 million American men have low T?

Symptoms include decreased energy levels, loss of muscle mass, fatigue, and yes, lack of a sex drive, which can be one of the reasons why he’s not that into you in bed.

You all know that keeping the testosterone levels in the right amount is important. Any changes, no matter how little it may be, can tick him off and make him forget about sex. The good news is he can increase it through either natural means or medical intervention. Whatever path he chooses, make sure you are there, right by his side and assure him that everything is going to be fine.

7. He Has Some kind Of Trouble Down There

Apparently, erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation are one of the major sexual issues men experience these days. It can be due to unhealthy lifestyle, age or even stress. Whatever the reasons are, there will always be a common denominator: men with this kind of issues refuse to have sex.


Because they can’t handle embarrassment very well. Getting his man up to give pleasure to a woman is one of the ego-boosting moments in every guy’s life.

If he is not able to perform in bed, can you just imagine its effect on his self-esteem?

Therefore, assure him that nothing will change if he can’t make things happen in bed. Be nice. That’s all he needs – and some loving too.

8. He’s Simply Stressed Out

Come on, ladies. Who isn’t stressed out and exhausted at work, or even at home?

stressEveryone does and no matter how you want to be positive about life, stress will always come knocking at everyone’s door, including men.

Believe it or not, men worry, too, just like women. They can get stressed about their careers, what’s happening in the economy, and even simple issues at home. In other words, men get exhausted from stress, too. Yes, most men resort to sex to take their mind off things – but not everyone. Some prefer to just lie down and do nothing.

Don’t take it too personally. Stop nagging. Instead, ask him if there is anything you can do to help him feel better. Once he knows you understand what he is going through, intimacy will come soon afterwards.

9. He Wants To Take It Slow

emotionsOkay, another surprise right here. Here’s the thing: not all men want to get in your pants immediately after the first date.

There are still some traditional dudes out there who are willing to wait and prefer to get to know you better with your clothes on first.

Keep in mind that sex involves a lot of emotions, too. Just like you, men are capable of having and sharing their emotions and feelings. In case he turns you down because he wants to take it slow, then respect that. It only shows he respects you as a person.

Yes ladies, that type of man is definitely a keeper. Congratulations for getting one in the big ocean full of sex sharks.

10. He Has An Undiagnosed Medical Condition

It can be serious, it’s really hard to tell. For most men, lack of libido signifies aging or stress. Apparently, there are certain serious medical conditions that start with loss of sex drive.

diabetesAlways remember that a man’s penis is also a barometer of whether he is healthy or not. If you noticed that he prefers to sleep or eat, rather than have sex, then it can be symptomatic of bigger health issues, such as prostate cancer, diabetes or heart disease.

Still, don’t scare him. Lack of sex drive doesn’t automatically mean he has serious issues and he’s about to die anytime soon. Just consider this possibility and if time permits, have your guy go to the doctor for a checkup. Better be safe than sorry, right?

Don’t worry ladies. Everything is going to be fine. If he doesn’t want to have sex, then so what? Relationships should not focus only on the physical side and taking off your clothes. If he’s not into sex yet, then there are many ways to enjoy your time together. Take this as an opportunity to get to know better and try out things you’ve never done before.

Who knows, this may be all he needs to get his libido up and running.

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